COSTELLO RULZ!

Whatever, el Guapo. 

So, I've intro'd you to B1, mi madre, mi amour. Now, it's time for B2. B2 is more like my stepbrother or something. I'm not sure why she lives with us. She's cool and all, but sometimes annoying. Anyhow, I did this interview with her last night.

Costello: Hey, B2! What is up?
B2: STELLO! L’il guy!!!
Costello: Hey check this out… whoa! Psych! Hahaha
B2: Circle.
Costello: No.
B2: Circle.
Costello: Apparently you didn’t hear me the first time.
B2: Come on, CIRCLE.
Costello: Come ON, circle my ass. Seriously, you think I’m your toy. Well, I’m not! I’m a dog, a companion, a friend, but I ain’t no friggin toy. Hey is that a hotdog?
B2: Check it out little guy… I got a treat for you… now circle…circle… circle…
Costello: Aw, come on B, can’t I just have the freaking hotdog? Man, I don’t WANT to circle. Fine. Okay. I’ll circle.
B2: High five!
Costello: ALRIGHT! My turn, now CHASE ME!
B2: I’m not going to chase you.
Costello: COME ON, I CIRCLED FOR YOU NOW YOU CHASE ME NOW CHASE ME CHASE ME CHASE ME CHASE ME CHASE ME CHASE ME. Hey, where are you going? Why aren’t you chasing me? Have you seen Froggie today? Lobster too? OH, hey, there you are. Can I chill with you? What are you eating? Is it a hot dog? Does it make hot dogs? Can I have one? Be right back…
B2: Stello! STELL!
Costello: Oh, hey! What’s up?
B2: Hey snuggly l’il guy… Come on, snuggle up.
Costello: Yeah, no problem… ahhh, that’s good… oh, and, um, thanks for leaving your scarf on the floor. I pooped on it for you.

Okay, so what's so friggin smart about this border collie? Huh? He's got a stupid monkey on his back. Whatever. I am so totally over border collies. The monkey's pretty cool though! 

Pensé que debo honrar mi herencia fijando en español. Así pues, conseguí solamente algunas cosas para decir sobre este fin de semana. ¡Whew! Estaba en mi primera película del indie. Para serio. Tenía un papel vital en esta película que Juan C. escribió. También ayudé a preparar la escena tomando un escape en la cama que filmaron adentro. Usted puede agradecerme totalmente más adelante. De todos modos, conseguí ir cuidado de la toma de un cierto negocio.
Amor, Costello

This time, it's not even Ryan Seacrest's fault. I am so sick and tired of a few things, mostly this whole obsession with border collies and how frigging smart they are. On top of that is the assumption that dogs are stupid so it should be impressive that a dog would know a few words. Hell people, look at this I'M TYPING LOTS OF WORDS!!!! Stupid border collies can't type. I need a drink.

Finally, I've got some time to do some housecleaning on the blog. For serious, I'd been so busy the last few days, I hadn't had a chance to do anything. So, I got some links and stuff up. If you want me to link to you hit me with an email or something. SO anyhow, I have a question to pose to you... Is it so wrong that I like boys? A lot? I mean, I'm totally a ladies' man and everything. I mean, ask Blackie about my hot loving all the time. But, what I'm saying is that sometimes I get, um, excited, when the guys come over. It's probably cause they understand me more than the ladies and we watch sports. That must be it. Right?
Oh, and once I can figure out how to hook up B1's camera to the compy, I'm totally gonna hit you all with some pics of me and my crew.

Straight but not narrow,
Costello

So, the past couple of nights have been a bit sketchy around the hiz-ouse. B2 has been screetching like, well, a stupid person or something and there's been talk about letting that mean cat from down the street into the house. All of this is because of these stupid things that keep coming into the house uninvited. I guess B1 and B2 are too self absorbed to realize that they keep eating MY FOOD! Have they stopped to notice that I'M THE VICTIM HERE! No. They haven't. So I've decided to see why these mice keep coming over even though we've told them they can't anymore.

Costello: Oh, hello there mr mouse.

Mouse 1: squeak.

Costello: Who do you think you even are anyways? I mean, seriously, I'm a ratter...


Mouse 1: squeak. squeak.

Costello: No really. STAY OUT OF MY WATER DISH!!!

Mouse 1: squeak. squeak. squeak.
Mouse 2: squeak. squeak. squeak.

Costello: HOLY CRAP THEY'RE COMING AFTER ME AND THEY ARE AT LEAST HUGE AND... HEY GET AWAY FROM MY HOT DOGS!! I'M TOTALLY GONNA KICK YOUR ASSES!!! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS ARE ANYHOW!!!

Mouse 1: squeak.
Mouse 2: squeak.

Costello: Yeah, that's what I thought. Pussies.

The End

So, um, even though it appears as if i might of been scared or something. I totally wasn't. It was an act to entice them to me so I could, you know, kick their asses. But, they were too scared to deal with the C-Bis. You know how it is... FEROCIOUS! And, um, if you guys wanna, um, let acetylene in, that would be okay.

2 legit 2 quit,
C-Bis

So, yesterday, me and B1 head to the park to chill. You know, to meet and greet. We get there and I'm like, whoa, check out the Boston Terrier HOTTIE!! Then, of course, I remember my cool and my girl Blackie, so I step back a bit and eye the little lassie from afar. I notice that she's chillin with this Border Collie that I just can't stand. I mean, no offense to border collies, but you all have got to chill. Seriously, like, who cares if people think you're the smartest breed. For serious, the smartest breeds are those of us that get people to do what WE want, not to be constantly chasing balls or getting the paper or cooking up some chicken. Actually, now that I think about it, I would love to learn how to saute so if any of you hyperassed border collies want to hit me with some info, that would rock! Back to the story. So, I'm just hanging out, getting some rays with B1 and this hottie comes all running up to me and tries to get all up in my stuff and I'm like YO step off and she's all like oh baby baby you so fly. So, I turned to B1 and was like, seriously, let's go.

Stello OUT

DEAR COSTELLO WE HAVE A SERIOUS DEER PROBLEM IN THIS AREA---THEY ARE FEEDING ON ALL DAD'S FLOWERS AND HE'S REALLY P---ED OUR LAWN GUY
S AYS WE NEED A -- GUY---YOU KNOW, MANLY TYPE, TO MARK THE TERRITORY!!!! WE NEED COSTELLO--I"LL SUPPLY ALL THE CORONA YOU NEED (FOR WATERING PURPOSES) YOUR PAL. ANNIE

Yo Annie! How the hell are you? So sorry to hear about the deer on your property. We have a similar problem with the local cats. Well, I mean, they don't eat the flowers and stuff but they do look at me funny like they are considering whether they could take me or not but we all know that it's not gonna happen. Anyhow, I digress. Annie, babe, you know I'm there for you. Whatever, Whenever. You bring the beer, I'm there babe. I'll pee on everything in sight. Inside and out. Love ya! Stello

Confidential to Mr. Cotter: What, you can't spare the good stuff? Corona? Give me some single malt and the deer will be gone for years to come!!!

true story.

So, I decided that it was time for you all to get to know my bitches. Today, we begin with an interview with Bee-atch #1.

C: Hello, Bee-atch #1, how are you today?

Bee-atch #1: STELLO! STELLO! GET IN HERE!

C: Umm, okay, so I was wondering...

Bee-atch #1: Stello, seriously, bad no pee bad dog!

C: Oh, that was hours ago. Check this out...

Bee-atch #1: Stell. Jesus, why can't you learn how to pee in the right place. For crying out loud, it's not rocket science...

C: Why are you so angry all the time?

Bee-atch #1: I mean, come on, I just took you to the dog park and you had ample time to pee outside on a tree or in the grass or even on the sidewalk but nooooo, you have to go and pee in the hallway...

C: You do realize that you're talking to yourself now right? I mean, that's crazy.

Bee-atch #1: No, I don't want to chase you, come here.

C: Chase me? What are you talking about?

Bee-atch #1: COME

C: Alright, alright, I'm coming, you'd better have a hotdog or something.

Bee-atch #1: Good boy. Sit. No No that's down, sit. SIT. Oh, for crying out loud Stello, SIT. Okay then, down. Good boy. Now circle. CIRCLE. Good boy.

The End

Now, as you can see, I can have my hotdog and eat it too. I get whatever I want from these bee-atches. Mostly from this stupid circle thing they constantly ask me to do, well, that and high fives. Seriously. I am so the boss of them.

that's a true story. So, there's this dog named Annie who happens to be a friend of mine and a labrador retriever. I didn't think that it would hurt her feelings because she is a very strong and respectable dog and I knew she knew that I loved her. Not more than Blackie, of course, but a lot none the less. So, anyhow, I totally hurt her feelings and I didn't mean to. Then I peed on the bathroom rug. All in all, I deserve to be punished and given only generic dog treats. Oh and bee-atch #2, that thing you bought me is stupid. Only buy meat flavored things. And to you, little miss bee-atch #1, stop putting stuff in my room. You totally messed me up. I might even pee in the dining room today as payback. So there.