COSTELLO RULZ!

So Bee-atchs 1 & 2 sat down to watch some British dog show the other night. The only thing I learned was that the British have absolutely no taste in dogs. When the only flava in your 'Dog Show' is a Labrador Retriever, it comes as no surprise you lost the biggest colony EVER. Seriously. Anyway, the show got them all worked up, put some crazy ideas in their heads, and they were all like "'Stello, why can't you stack like those dogs?" Check this, ladies: the only thing I'll be stacking is another layer on a Tiny Bones and Cheez-Wiz sammich. So don't hold your breath.

Some spindly-ass dog called a Whippet took Best-In-Show. Funny I thought that was a Devo song. My bad.

Now a HOT Dog Show...that's something I could get behind. Totally.

So. Blackie Pugg won't talk to me. Apparently she totally thinks that I'm cheating on her with Dalmation. So not the case. Dalmation is SOOO not my type. I mean, sometimes, yeah, we makeout and stuff. But, it doesn't mean anything. For serious. Anyhow, I need to go to the store and get her something to calm her down. It's probably that time of the month. You know. In a day or two I won't be able to get her off of me. Okay, well, I haven't had a very good day. So, I'm going to bed now.

Wednesday is interview day. It will give all of my cyber friends (and not so friends) to get to know the people in my life and presidents and maybe a movie star or four. We begin with my girl Blackie Pugg.

Interview #1:
Blackie

C: So, Blackie. How are you today?

Blackie:

C: Hmm, uh, are you okay?

Blackie:

C: Cat got your tongue? Hahahahahahahahahahaha. That was a good one.

Blackie:

C: What? Your so wicked stupid! You’ve been talking to crab haven’t you? Crab’s a liar!! I did not pee on him!! For Serious!!! He is so full of it. He’s just so wicked jealous that I get to tell him what to do and he has to do it because I am bigger than him and he’s stupid.

Blackie:

C: Stop giving me that look.

Blackie:

C: For serious. You know I love you more, baby. You know I love you. STOP STARING AT ME!

Blackie:

C: F-Off then. I’m totally gonna kick your ass. RIGHT NOW!

Blackie:

So, I was surfing the web last night, between the time when bee-atch #2 went to bed and bee-atch #1 got home. And you know who I hate a lot? Ryan Seacrest. So, sometimes, I go to his website and post hatemail to him. He's stupid. Anyhow, to make matters worse, I see that he's got his OUTFITS posted on the web. WHO CARES?? I clearly dress much better. Even when they make me wear stupid outfits with flowers or argyle on them. I mean, they don't make me, I let them think they make me. So, what I was thinking was doing a picture show of myself in MY various outfits. Of course, Rome wasn't built in a day, so it might be a few days. OH and the stupid crab sucks. I don't talk to him anymore on account of him not sharing hotdogs with me. He says he doesn't have any, but I know he does and is just being an ass.

'Stello OUT.

Finally, I have some time to myself. I swear, I haven't had a good chance to just chill at all over the past few days. It's always like, Costello come, Costello sit, Costello get the frog. What the hell do they think I am. And the other day, just as I was getting my snooze on, one of my bitches was like, hey 'stello, let's go for a walk so I can look cool for hanging out with you. Anyhow, I'll probably just chill for a while today and maybe hang out with crab and lobster. They've been having some freaky attitude lately though and have been totally lame. I dunno, maybe I'll just take a nap. I think there's some hotdogs in the fridge, so maybe I'll eat one.

This is me and my bitch. As you can see, she totally worships me and I am in control. For serious.  

This is me looking the camera dead on! I back down for no one! 

My name is Costello and I RULE! I am a chihuahua of the best kind, as you can see by my photo. I have an "owner". She thinks that she's the boss of me, but she's not. For example, she has no idea that I have a blog. And that I know about the internet. I'm just smarter than she is. Also, I am quite good at punctuation, especially for a chihuahua. For serious. Anyhow, I have some friends like a crab and two lobsters and a frog and a fish and this white thing and a pug and a dalmation and this other person that lives in the house. She's cool but only cause she gives me hotdogs and stuff.